I quit Keanu for the summer.
I stayed on the road (11,236 miles) I stopped posting to Tumblr, I didn't check Twitter and stayed off the fan sites. I had decided I couldn't keep him as an imaginary lover any longer.
The man doesn't know I exist , it wouldn't matter if he did and my life has been consumed by him for over twenty five years. The insanity had to stop. I had to regain control.
Right ? Right.
The Man of Tai Chi came out, I wavered but only made a video for myself.
It was the Stephen Colbert interview for 47 Ronin that sent me over the edge of the precipice and under his total domination once again.
Do with me what you will Mr. Reeves.
"Being your slave what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire
I have no precious time at all to spend
Nor services to do till you require "
He has a power over me I can't define or properly express.
Fuck it , I'll let the music tell the story, it always says it better than I possibly could.
btw -- it was the fact that he was wearing his watch turned in that triggered my emotions and imagination. There's no way of course he could know that I wear my watch that way but to an unbalanced personality any innocent gesture on another's part can convince them it was meant for them.
I know it's irrational, I understand how unattainable my fantasy is but still...
