The second case of unreturned love is from my viewpoint. I don't like not giving someone a chance to defend themselves but in this case I can't. I have been unfortunate enough to be the object of someones unwanted attention. Why is it because someone decides they love you they feel you must be forced in turn to love them back? Don't a lot of stalkers think they love their victims even if they have to kill them to prove it? I realized quickly that being the nice guy wasn't going to work. For example he would ask if he could come over and see me and I would finally give in and say yes he could come over but that it didn't mean I wanted to date him or be with him. Well all he ever heard was "yes you can come over". Every time I saw him it was the same damn thing , him trying to convince me that I was in love with him but I just didn't know it. Nothing burns my ass more than someone telling me how I feel when they don't have clue what they are talking about. I know myself pretty well and I'm not exactly easy on myself. I most definitely was not in love with him and I am positive of this as I have never been in love with anyone. I have loved don't get me wrong but I have never been in love. You know what I mean, cant sleep, can't eat, please God let me have this man kind of love. But the caveat being I want him to feel the same way about me and I won't settle for any less. Sorry lost train of thought, back on track. It seems no matter what I tried this guy was pretending to himself anything I did had hidden meaning. If I refused the flowers he sent he told himself I didn't want him to waste money whereas if he had really known me he would never had sent me cut flowers. When he tried to give me a ring it was a diamond, now even before the Sierra Leone scandal broke I wasn't into diamonds, so another mistake. I don't see jewelry the way other women do, they will ooh and aah over the flash and all I see are children with their hands cut off and villages imprisoned
and forced to mine for diamonds while they live in the most disgusting conditions imaginable. How can anyone find beauty in that? At least he was never stupid enough to try fur, I'll give him that much credit. I never see him anymore and people have asked me why I can't at least be friends with him but it's not possible. Everything I would do as a friend he would twist and turn until he once again convinced himself it was love. Yet because I do care for him I won't see him. He would use our "secret" love as an excuse to never have a life for himself. He meant too much to me to keep him hanging on and I knew the only way to love him was to let him go. I would have gladly spent the rest of my days having him for a friend because we had some of the best times of my life together but it would be selfish on my part and while he thinks he loves me I know I love him. I love him but I am not in love with him. There's a difference. So because I love him I let him go. Not to have him come back, he would do that in an instant, I let him go in the hopes that one day he will fall in love and know the difference and finally appreciate what we had together. He may come to realize we were the best of friends and lay his demons to rest. Then maybe he'll understand that you can love someone but not be in love with them. There's a difference....
Cheers, Amelie
