Have you ever loved someone who didn't love you back ? I haven't but I know people who have so I will write this from my perspective. It must be so frustrating and painful to love someone who just doesn't feel the same about you but let's face it ,do you really love them or are you just trying to force them to love you. I've known two people who feel they are in love with someone who doesn't love them back. In one case the girl loves the guy and the guy tries to be a nice guy who wants to be friends. Really he's just giving her something to hang onto. She tells herself, if I just hold on, one day he'll realize he loves me too and will come to me the way I dream about. Truthfully he's not even really much of a friend to her as he knows how she feels and still isn't interested in her that way and has told her so yet by not telling her to knock it off he leads her on keeping her on the hook for whenever he wants to have her massage his ego with her adoration. I know he tells himself he's being a nice guy because he doesn't want to hurt her but he has hurt her more by stringing her along even though he has always made it clear they are nothing but friends. He still sure as hell doesn't mind the way she begs for his attention and how grateful she is when he does show her some. He pretends he's not aware of how deep her feelings for him are even though she is constantly doing anything to be included n his life. The thing about her is she knows what he's doing but is so intent on winning , because yes I think this has become a battle of wills for her , that she pretends just as he does. She has told me all he has to do is give her the word and she will drop the life she has now and run to him unconditionally. I feel she shows a complete lack of respect for the man she is with but he knows hows she feels about this guy and sits and takes it so how much a man is he anyway? Can you imagine having spent your life waiting for a man to crook his finger at you so you can run to him like the obediant little puppy that you behave as. She has known him since she was twenty two and she is now forty one and still waiting. One her side of it I feel sorry for the guy because she justs hangs on him and smothers him whenever she is around him. I know that she has tried to saboutage every relationship he has ever had. She knows how to turn him against the women he gets involved with all the while pretending to be the symphathetic friend there when he needs her. She's happy when he's having troubles because she sees more of him then and wants to be there for him. They both live a lie. It's a sick dynamic knowing it firsthand and seeing the way they use each other. I've often thought when listening to her go on about it that what she thinks is love for him isn't. When you love someone you want them to be happy even if it doesn't make you happy.You will sacrifice everything for them even if it means giving up on realistic expectations. I wish he would just man up and tell her in no uncertain terms that it is her fantasy and nothing else. I would love for her to be able to lay this ghost to rest and stop hurting herself over and over feeling she is unworthy. I don't know why she can't do what the rest of us do when this happens ,c'est la vie .However she is also one of those people who takes up all the light and air in the room and leave you exhausted. Emotional vampire is the term being used now. My other experience with unrequited love will be posted next.
Cheers, Amelie
