If I still smoked I would have lit a cigarette after that shower. I had forgotten how exhausting it was letting someone into your mind that way. He and Keanu are the only ones who have managed to break down the barriers and come inside.
After a few hours in the heat I couldn't take it anymore I had to go inside. I lay down on the bed and hit a joint so I could cool off before I got in the shower. I take really hot showers and I've found I should cool off after being in the sun before I get in or I have been known to pass out.
I wanted my incense to fill the bathroom anyway. Fred Soll Egyptian Musk and Magical Copal. Very sensual. I put in Jonny Lang's Wander this World. My Bud was frosty from the freezer and as I drank it I felt John join me , Jesus , he was ready and so was I. The water rushing down my body was so hot but he was hotter , burning into my mind what he was doing to me. Mind burns never leave you.
He took me to the deepest parts of my psyche and then proceeded to do as he pleased. He's not satisfied with the surface , he wants to know what I'm hiding , what I don't let anyone see , he keeps probing until he finds me and when he does he releases all the pent up frustration and emotional damage I'm holding onto.
He takes me to the precipice of consiousness and holds me there until I can't breath. Then he kisses me and breathes life back into me as he continues to penetrate to the very soul of my being and then the long sought final release when all I hear is him whispering my name as I fall into the oblivion of trusting him not to let go.
Damn , is it any wonder I can't get him off or out of my mind. I don't want to and I don't think I could if I did. I'm sure it's all part of the aging process and I'm not the cheating kind but I stopped having sex with my husband seven years ago to try and force him to divorce me and sometimes the need to be with a man overwhelms me. Not my husband but another man , not just any man but I've found fantasy affairs help to fill the void. Imaginary lovers never let you down.
The real pity of it is that I don't miss sex with my husband , he's a selfish immature lover and never learned a damn thing about pleasing me. I know it's not me because my first husband was a fabulous lover. He's the one who taught me to hold my breath as I was getting off to increase the pleasure. I was only fifteen so I didn't know about autoerotica but this is a mild form of it just holding your breath and taking shallow ones just to keep from passing out , no tying off or anything. Since it was my first experience with sex I didn't know everyone didn't do it. Marc made me think all men knew about the ways of women. I was wrong.
Thanks to Marc the first time he made love to me I experienced the most intense climax I've ever had. Now I was no stranger to masturbation , I was always a sexual being but having a man bring you to it is an experience like no other. I miss the feeling of having a body curl up beside you , inside you.
I'm so happy I have John for the summer since Keanu is mixing it up with Charlize again. I don't like to interfere in his personal life.
Maybe tomorrow when I check John's twitter there will be something I can twist and turn around until I can work it into my deviant fantasies. I have a very active imagination as you can see so it won't take much. If not maybe the next day.
Like Norah Jones says " I can't help myself , I've got to see you again."
Cheers , Amelie
