It was kind of a joke but he acted like he was actually going to read it. He even made a point of taking it to work because he would tell me he would look it over during the day sometimes and how much better he was starting to understand me. It was encouraging as he has never been one to make an effort.
He brought home a box of stuff he had cleared out of his files and blueprints yesterday and I was emptying the box out to see if there was anything I could use when I ran across the book. The spine had never been broken. Did I leave out the part that it was last Christmas she gave him the book ?
Looking at it made me come to the realization that it represented the main crux of the problem.
His lack of effort and my acceptance of it. I didn't care he hadn't bothered to look at it but that he lied about it for over a year speaks volumes , don't you think.
It really is my fault for taking it all these years but I was working through to where I had to be and the truth of the matter is , he left me alone.
That's what I wanted , to be left alone. I was tired of dealing with men and a wedding ring is very effective in fending off unwanted advances. Until I understood his advances were the unwanted ones. I took the ring off over seven years ago and started wearing my garnet instead.
I've been serving a life sentence but I'm almost free. I served the whole sentence because I don't want parole , that means they can keep ties to you. I want to walk away free.
I want someone to make me feel their love.
I was going to put in the Garth Brooks video here but I couldn't find it because so damn many people putting their own version of it on it. I have my own copy so I'll watch it myself.
To feel their love.
Is that so much to ask for ?
If you shoot for the moon and miss you'll fall among the stars.
Cheers , Amelie
btw if you have any interest and want to read up on horoscopes Linda Goodman does some that are really easy to understand and are also very entertaining.
More of Damaged People later.
