I saw an article on HP about Demi Moore's kids.
The media is now tearing into them and of course all the wonderful people out there who think they have a right to say anything they please about these kids because their parents are famous.
I've been refraining from commenting because it can be so exhausting dealing with the hatred out there but I had to tell people being mean about them how it would feel if it was their kid being ravaged by the media.
I was referred to as Moon Zappa and told her kids were fair game.
So many people seem to be thriving on hatred any more.
It started with the politicians pointing their dirty little fingers at each other.
Then the entire country jumped on board.
I know it's not PC to say it but when it comes to the political arena the main problem is that it's full of politicians.
They're just people who couldn't act so they go into politics to get the attention they crave so desperately.
Bunch of bitchy millionaires.
All they care about is getting their asses in office and staying there as long as they can , taking as much as they can.
Just like in sports the only way we'll get anyone in there who really cares about the country is not to pay them. If someone will do something for free then they're committed. We need replacement politicians.
I'm dealing with a computer problem , well more an ISP problem. The other day my ISP went down. I've never had that happen before. I had to call the damn place and stay on hold for over four hours so that someone who could barely speak English or understand it had me do like sixteen steps to get back online.
Now my computer I use for the Internet can't capture the IP address.
The computer tells me it's the network and the network tells me it's the computer.
So I'm just kind of fucked right now. I've got too much going on to spend a couple of days with tech support so I'm using my writing computer which isn't set up for this and I don't have Internet access to my pictures.
What a pain in the ass. I've been meaning to get my gaming computer set up for the new camera because it's got a ton more memory and is faster but once you get used to laptops being chained to a desk is hard.
Plus it's upstairs and running up and down all day keeps you from just jumping on whenever the inspiration hits.
Ah well C'est la vie.
I think my subconscious is getting tired of waiting for me to get the hell out of my present situation. I know I have a habit of putting myself in a position of being forced to take action.
I was going to file for divorce fourteen years ago. At the time I still had a job independent from the company my husband and I formed.
He convinced me that my job was a lot of our problems and if I worked for us it would get us where we were going faster.
He also said he wanted to start a family knowing at the time I was really vulnerable and feeling that biological clock.
I've got to give him credit he's not smart but he's cunning.
He moved my mother here knowing I would feel responsible for her.
The person I had been running from my whole life was moved in on me without my consent and I've been carrying her ass every since.
She still smokes three damn packs a day has had two heart attacks since she's been here , four surgeries , filing for bankruptsy and I don't doubt she's going to be the one to put me in the ground.
If I didn't have her living expenses I could have my own place now.
Between that and starting a relationship up with his then thirteen year old son again , which meant constant game playing from his ex wife I reconsidered having a baby with him.
I'm grateful now I did because that's no reason to have a child and at least I didn't fall into that trap.
Why make another innocent child pay for having morons for parents.
So what the hell , now I'm concentrating on getting this house ready to sell.
I have to get out.
I don't care how little I take with me I just want to be able to go to sleep without being worried about being violated while doing so.
I want to come home from work and if I don't feel like fixing dinner then I won't. I want to wake up and blast the music without having to wear headphones.
I want to watch or more importantly not watch tv when I want.
I know I talk a lot about finding someone to love but if I could just finish my days not having to kiss some one's ass every day of my life I'll be happy.
My husband is so high maintenance he could be a Kardashian.
The main problem I have with him is that he wants to be the woman and me be the man. I'm a fucking Pisces not a Taurus.
His mother and ex wife were both castrating Taurus' so he bases all women on their scale. How very unfair to every other sign.
He's the type that will stand by and watch me work like a rented mule while refusing to lift a finger to help.
He is no gentleman.
When he finally understood that I was going even though he threatened me with killing himself he moved all the money. Because he loves me so much.
He says it's love that makes him want to hang onto me.
Bollocks, it's all about control.
He accepts that I refuse to have sex with him , at first he thought he could force me but then he was reminded of what happened when my first husband thought that too. At least I finally got my own bedroom.
Every time he pisses me off now I say when I have my own place you won't get to do this to me.
He's in denial. He thinks if he constricts the money and follows all the rules I've laid down I'm not going to be able to leave.
He's going about it all wrong but what's new.
He can't reach me anymore...
I have to get a computer set up to scan some more Damaged People.
It's gotten confusing because I have to destroy it as soon as I've scanned it.
He goes thru all my stuff when I'm gone or asleep.
He's not worried about me running around or anything , the bastard uses my own moral standard against me , he just likes to ruin things for me.
I'll tell you about my tattoos one time.
This was my turning point.
He doesn't know jack about computers so anything here is safe as long as he doesn't get someone to help him.
I've warned him , I'll have his ass arrested if he touches my computers again and he knows I will.
Arrgghh I'm so frustrated. I keep telling myself August 28 2012.
I have to stay focused , this is important.
Fast forward and life happens and asshole has managed to completely wipe out all cash assets. Between his son , ex wife and brother all ready assets are gone.
All that's left is the house and you know what the market is like.
Well I gave it my all and can leave with no feelings of guilt that's for sure but still I can't seem to get away from him.
Feeling my age I guess , starting over is always hard but when you're older you're a lot less bolder than you used to be.
Well I left before with the clothes on my back and I guess I'll be doing it again.
Feck it there are worse things.
I still have the music...
Cheers , Amelie
